2010 becomes 2011 continued

Boxing continues to be one of Americas forgotten sports. In one of my first posts on this blog I wrote about how Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. needed to fight to save boxing and nearly a year later the fight still hasn’t happened. Both have fought and both have won easily, but they have yet to fight each other. To make boxing even more irrelevant the heavyweight division is still without a major superstar. So the question is…

Will Pacquioa and Mayweather fight? Will the Klitschko brothers fight each other and give people something to talk about.

Answer: Pacquioa’s next fight has already been determined and that is against and over the hill Sugar Shane Mosely(Less sugar and more molasses last time I checked). Mayweather on the other hand will be fighting the law after numerous allegations were brought up against him. Will these two fight? I say yes, just not when anyone cares anymore. I feel like this will be a fight that happens late in both of their careers when they are not the tremendous fighters they are today.

As for the Klitschkos… noway this happens but wouldn’t it be great to see them duke it out? Not only would it unify 3 belts but what would be better than watching two brothers beat the hell out of each other!

Celtics won round 1… Lakers won round 1 and 1/2 and round 2. Round 3? Both are on a collision course once again to meet in the finals. This year however both paths are far more difficult, So the question is…

Will the NBA Finals be Lakers vs. Celtics?

Answer: No! Not only are the Lakers are too old, but they still have to go through the west. The Spurs are better, the Mavericks are playing defense, and the Thunder are better. The Celtics have to go through, wait for it…THE EAST! I know shocking right! The not only have to battle the Magic and the Bulls, but there is this little team in Miami that is starting to figure things out. One of the two may make it but I have a hard time believing that both will get there.

You remember this guy right? He was and still is the best golfer in the world. Sure he had a rough 2010, but who didn’t really? Sure his was far worse than most people on the planet but whose to say he can’t bounce back. So the question is…

Will Tiger Woods fix his golf game and start winning again?

Answer: PGA Tour you have been warned. Tiger fell off so much that other golfers actually started talking smack! If struggling through an entire golf season wasn’t bad enough, other golfers actually not fearing Tiger was the last straw. I foresee Tiger going bananas this year and leaving a clear path of destruction in his wake. Wins, Wins, and more wins.

Bonus question: Will Tiger Woods start dating again?

Bonus Answer: Now I would love nothing more than Tiger to start dating either Lindsey Lohan or Brittney Spears, but after the year he had I just can’t imagine him dating so soon. If he does date however I expect the women to be someone from high society without any history of any shady past whatsoever.

AND FINALLY……..

Both the NFL and NBA are in golden eras and both are in jeopardy of not having seasons next year. So the question is…

Will the NBA and NFL have lockouts next year?

Answer: David Stern and Roger Goddell call Bud Selig and ask him how 1994 was, PLEASE!!! No one wants to see a strike. In the NFL it would mean players like Tom Brady, Chris Johnson, Adrian Peterson, and Andre Johnson wasting prime years of their careers. In the NBA it would be a loss for Lebron James, Chris Paul, Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, and Kobe Bryant. Both leagues have never been better so hopefully these labor negotiations can be worked out before we lose any basketball or football.

2010 was a great year in sports and hopefully 2011 can be even better. Hopefully we will soon be able to find out the answers to all these questions! Happy New Years from SOGJ!

2010 becomes 2011

Its been a while and a lot has happened that has not been blogged by your favorite writers here at SOGJ but a new year means a fresh start.

Sitting around deciding what to write about has been the hardest part of jumping back onto the blog. I didn’t whether to write a year in review or a prediction of things to come so I decided to combine the two ideas. The year that was and the questions the create for next year.

1. Brett Favre’s NFL Future

For 20 years Brett Favre has played in the NFL and finally after this season that may come to an end. After an amazing 2009-2010 season Brett came back after his annual, “I may reitre”, “I don’t know what I am doing”, “I want to play.” fall fiasco to play one of the toughest seasons ever by an NFL player. Now it is no secret I am not a fan of Brett Favre but I have to give the man respect for being an absolute warrior playing through multiple injuries that individually would sideline most men but he played with all of them. A fractured ankle, a concussion, a sore shoulder, a sore elbow, a fractured foot, and a broken reputation(thanks Jenn Sterger). So the question is…

Will Brett Favre retire?

The answer: Most likely I think he will. Now that being said it would not surprise me in the least bit if we see number 4 in purple and gold next year.

After a stellar college career Tim Tebow was suprisingly drafted in the first round by the Denver Broncos. Former head coach Josh McDaniels traded up to the first round to get the Captain of Team Jesus, even though most projections had him as a 4th round pick at very best. Most of the uncertainty was based around the fact that it took Tebow 3 days to wind up and throw the football. So what did Tebow do? He changed his throwing motion and eliminated his hitch. This was a positive sign that Tebow one day may be an effective NFL QB. Then the Broncos signed starting quarterback Kyle Orton to and extension, effectively ending any chance for Tebow to start for the foreseeable future. Flash forward 6 months, fire Josh McDaniels, take the Broncos out of the playoffs and Tim Tebow gets his chance to start and after two games he has looked good! So the question is…

Will Tim Tebow be a starting quarterback in the NFL for the next ten years?

The answer: I think yes. From what we know about Tebow is that he has the will of Rocky Balboa, the determination of a stubborn child, and Jesus on his side. He wants to prove all of America wrong that he can play.

Coach K has had 2 and a half of the best coaching years in the history of basketball. First he led the Redeem Team to the 2008 Olympic Gold Medal, then he led the his Duke Blue Devils to the National Title, and he followed that by leading Team USA to the World Championships. He will soon break the record for all time wins by a coach in NCAA history and his team is currently ranked number 1 again. So the question is…

Will Duke win another title and is Coach K the greatest coach ever?

I think that Duke will repeat in a walk. They are clearly the best team in the country, with the deepest lineup, and the best players. As far as the greatest coach ever I think he is certainly making a case for it. If in 2012 he leads Team USA to another gold medal there are few other coaches who have done what he has accomplished.

To be continued…

Summer of 2010

Who would have thought?

For three years this summer has had a bullseye on it. We have waited and waited for something spectacular and regardless of how you feel about the newly created Miami Heat this summer has been spectacular. But they have only been part of the story that is the summer of 2010 there has been so much more.

The NBA Finals

It started in June where in a rematch of the 2008 finals the Lakers and Celtics collided in a classic 7 game series. Game 7 was an ugly, physical perfect game 7 that went down to the final minutes. Kobe had a horrendous 4th quarter which was very unlike the best closer in the game and it was (mentally disturbed) Ron Artest who hit the biggest shot of the finals down the stretch.

The World Cup

Once again fake football took America by storm. Once again many Americans began caring about Futbol! We finally had something to root for as our Americans got out of their group (apparently a big deal) and then were a poorly played game away from making the semi-finals. Its been a few weeks and like expected we have moved on from the soccer kick(bad pun I know) and we are ready for the real football to begin.

Strassmas!

Rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg made his Major League debut and blew away the Pittsburgh Pirates.(Most of these guys should be playing church league softball to be fair) He has made 9 starts and is 5-2. If he played for someone other than the Nationals he would probably have a better record. What I am most impressed by is his Matt Clementesque goatee that just seems to keep getting larger and larger.

Brett Favre

This was one of the many times he has retired.

Once again we have out favorite season Favre(Please insert heavy sarcasm). It comes right between summer and fall. This is the time of year we find out whether or not Mr. Favre feels his body is healthy enough to come back and play. It includes will he won’t he talk, Brad Childress visiting Mississippi(Happened earlier this week), Brett throwing laser beams to high school kids, and of course our favorite reporter Rachel Nichols setting up a tent on Brett Favre’s front lawn. She must get a Christmas card from the Favre family.

The NBA Free Agent Fiasco

In what was supposed to be a free for all it truly lived up to the hype. Whether it was the meetings, the rumors, the “Decision”, or just the fun NBA free agency lived up to the hype. We now have a legitimate possible super power in the East since LeBron, Wade, and Bosh joined forces. Chicago, New York, and Golden State all got better. This NBA season will hopefully be one of the best in a long time. Every time the Heat play they will get every teams best. They have become the NBA’s version of the Yankees.

This summer has been one to remember and I can’t for the fall. College sports, NBA and NFL we are truly living in a golden era of sport.

NCAA Basketball Championship Recap

This was the shot that all of America, save anyone who was actually rooting for Duke, wanted to to go in.

Right at half court, off a rebound, three dribbles ,Butlers best player Gordon Hayward, who had just missed a fade away that would have given his team the lead, and it almost went in. Almost sadly, does not count in NCAA Championship games.

The country held their collective breaths for what seemed like forever as the shot approached the rim, hit the backboard and the rim before falling helplessly off the rim to the ground and the Duke celebration began. The scene at Hinkle Fieldhouse, Butlers home court and historic gym, was priceless scroll down and check out the video,

http://espn.go.com/blog/collegebasketballnation/post/_/id/10297/emotions-high-and-then-low-at-hinkle-fieldhouse

So where does this leave us at the close of the college basketball season? The NCAA has some lame idea that we need to mess with a system that produced upsets, great shots, and moments college basketball fans will remember forever. They want to change from a 65 field tournament to a 96 team tournament for no other reason than money. I guess I can’t blame the NCAA for trying to make a buck, but why change a system that seems to be perfect where it is?

There is finally parody to the point that the little school got to the championship game against one of college mega powers and they want to change it? This will probably mean that he entire Big East, ACC, and Big Ten will be in the tournament next year. Really? Where does all the bubble talk go? How long before Joe Lunardi’s head explodes while making out his enormous mock bracket? Most importantly how do we fill out a 96 team bracket with any chance of knowing who will win?

The tournament this year, in my opinion, was perfect. Northern Iowa, Cornell, Butler and even Duke were all great stories. Why would you want to mess with perfection?

Either way, last night’s game will go down in history as one of the hardest fought battles in NCAA championship game history, where no team gave and inch and in the end had Duke given Butler just one inch, Gordon Hayward’s half court prayer might have dropped.

The Tournament is missing one thing!

Although the Men’s NCAA Tournament has been absolutely thrilling after 4 days it is missing one important thing. That is that Gus Johnson has not been a part of one of the more memorable games of this tournament. He has broadcast from Buffalo where the games have been okay but certainly not to liking of us here at SOGJ.

Our man Gus needs to get a great placement his next game with one of the underdog teams where he is able to thrive by getting super excited about a team that wins that shouldn’t be winning. I for one hope he gets assigned to Northern Iowa or Cornell so he can gush over the small school stars like no one but Gus can. Unfortunately I feel that he will continue with the teams that he had in Buffalo. If that is the case if then there is a possible Big East battle looming which hopefully be a good game so that Gus can make the tournament truly great.

But CBS is you have anything to do with this and I know you do, please give him a good game that he can go absolutely nuts for. And since I know some of the higher up people at CBS are currently reading this blog my request will no doubt be granted. Thank you CBS you are wise and fair!

March Madness INDEED!

Four days down and this has been one of the most entertaining NCAA Tournaments ever! Not only have there been multiple upset(By seed only if you have watched the games the better teams won) but the biggest upset of them all was when overall number 1 and supposed best team in the country, Kansas, was dominated by the Missouri Valley Champ University of Northern Iowa. With more names you don’t know and even a few more you can’t pronounce Northern Iowa is on a roll and there are no signs that they are slowing down. They meet up with the Big Ten’s Michigan State in the Sweet Sixteen and might be the favorite. Early reports are that Michigan States point guard and best player Kalin Lucas may have a torn achilles. This could mean that Northern Iowa would have a legitimate chance at the Elite 8 and possibly the Final Four!

Other upsets include St. Mary’s who took out higher seeds Richmond(7) and Villinova(WAY OVER RATED 2) pretty easily. From this we have met St. Mary’s hilarious big man Omar Samhan(Watch some of his interviews they are great!) They are playing awfully well but run into a very difficult opponent in the Baylor Bears from the Big 12. I think that the run may be over for St. Mary’s but heres hoping it’s not.

Finally the team that I have fallen in love with and are throroughly enjoyable to watch and have just plastered the first two teams they have played and that is the Big Red of Cornell. Now lets not forget they have defeated Temple and Wisconsin and this team can’t even give athletic scholarships. REALLY!!!! They can’t give scholarships! All there players have to be smart enough to get into the Ivy League school and then afford it. Not to mention that they all live together in the same house! You can read about that here:

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/Give-Cornell-s-basketball-team-high-marks-in-che?urn=ncaab,228248

Cornell next runs into the hottest and scariest team in the tournament Kentucky. If any team can control pace and frustrate the Wildcats it’s the Big Red. I hope that Ryan Whittman(Cornell’s best player) and the rest of the boys can keep their run going!

There has been some chalk, Duke, Kentucky, Ohio State, Syracuse, and West Virginia are all still alive. This all makes for a great second week of the tournament and we shall see if all the underdogs can make their way to Indianapolis!

Suck it Kirk.

Kirk's worst fear: the black is back.

Somehow, the Bradley Braves coaching staff was able to orchestrate an 81-62 ass kicking of Creighton today in the quarterfinals of the Missouri Valley Conference Tournament.  It’s amazing considering the rigorous planning and time invested into the decision to rock the black jerseys.  How they were able to game plan against their arch nemesis, Dana Altman, and pull off an all night, boiler room style meeting to decide if the black jerseys were the right call or not is beyond me. It’s a good thing that PG Sam Maniscalco put up 31 points against the Bluejays to save their asses.

I agree with Kirk. This shit can’t continue to go on, especially in the Missouri Valley Conference tournament.  As a pseudo-alumni, I am outraged at the oversight and carelessness of this coaching staff.  These crappy gimmicks and shenanigans need to stop…now.

This is Bradley, not some single-A minor league baseball team.

(Those who aren’t catching the thick, creamy loads of sarcasm that I’m laying down right now, please read my previous article about my best friend Kirk Wessler.)

In all seriousness though, big congrats to my boys on the BU squad! A 19-point signature win in the MVC tournament is always a great way to start the weekend.

Bradley will face Northern Iowa tomorrow in the MVC Tournament semifinals, where Jordan Eglseder will still continue to have the hairline of a 70 year old man and look like Happy Gilmore’s former boss, Mr. Larson.

"...and I'll be waiting for you, in the parking lot!"

"I BELIEVE THAT BELONGS TO MR. GILMORE!"

Come on, I know you see it too….

The Life, Times and Rules of the Walk-On (Part 2)

(If you missed part one from this weekend, CLICK HERE.)

6. Be the funny guy:

That’s it! That’s why Reginald liked me so much.

If you can make your coaches laugh and be the guy on the team who can do impressions of all of your teammates on command, you’ll be impossible to cut. Sure, you’ll sometimes feel like a court jester or a cheap puppet, but getting free shoes and other swag all of the time makes it somewhat worth it. Plus, you can just cry into your pillow every night and it’ll make everything feel all better in the morning.

I figured this out early in my freshman season when I did an impression of a particularly amusing assistant coach.  It was met with rave reviews from the players and coaching staff alike. I may have been asked to do said impression roughly 794 times the rest of the season, and said assistant coach still probably hates me because of it, but it got me in with the big guy, and that’s all that matters. (Hey coach: Driiiiiver’sss license! Haha, you still hate me don’t you?)

It’s no secret, people who are labeled as ‘the funny guy’ are much more likely to be kept around and excused for every day screw-ups that other guys may not get away with.  It is also a well known fact that most media guides and pre-season interviews include this question: “Who is the funniest member of the team?” If you are, in fact, the clown of the team, this is yet another chance for you to get your name in lights, my friend.  This will unquestionably lead to more signed mini-basketballs, more free Kool-Aid, more co-eds, and more eyes on your pre-game and half-time showcases.

(SIDE NOTE: If your team is smart enough to have more than one walk-on, it is rather fun to hold a competition to see who can sign the most autographs in a single season.  This is strictly a walk-on vs. walk-on competition, because if you attempted to challenge a scholly boy you’ll get bitch slapped. I’m pretty sure I defeated Montana Heirman my sophomore year in a closely competitive and nail biting 17 to 14 final tally.  Is it cheap that my final three autographs of the year were actually on a group of children’s programs that I stole out of Jeremy Crouch’s hand? No. This is simply called being in the right place at the right time. Winning isn’t easy kids.)

7. Find your niche on the squad: (The practice squad, that is. Duh.):

It may look like we're celebrating, but I'm actually attempting to fight Will in the middle of the game.

Every finely tuned practice squad consists of a group of individuals with limited talent and one specialty.  My advice to you is to find your specialty and stick to it. Otherwise you might step on another walk-ons toes, and that’s not cool broski.

Your specialty can be anything ranging from the following list:

a. Three-point sniper (97% of all walk-ons. Being white and un-athletic makes you a given for this category. If you can’t shoot, you should most likely play baseball or something.)

b. And-1 Mix Tape Reject (2% of all walk-ons. This will get you booted from drills like Milton Bradley from the Chicago Chubs. Not recommended.)

c. Basketball Knowledge (1% of all walk-ons. This rare breed is like a coach on the floor, very useful during situational drills and for deciphering intense ‘coach-speak.’)

So, what was my specialty, you ask? Fighting…yes, that’s right. Fighting.

I was the practice squad’s version of an enforcer. If I thought that we were getting bullied or overly abused I would step in and take an elbow from any starter and sacrifice my beautiful nose for the sake of the ‘red squad.’ (Proud owner of two in-practice nose explosions: one from Mike Suggs on a breakaway lay-up, which resembled someone spiking a volleyball. I vaguely remember the trainer telling me to get off the floor, but I pulled a Van Damme in Bloodsport and attempted to look cool. The other was dealt out by Marcellus Sommerville during a light practice the night before our game at Northern Iowa during a scrum for a rebound. There was no getting up from that one. I politely rolled to the baseline while somebody cleaned my DNA off of the court. How nice. Being the trooper that I am, I still showed up the next night and provided an epic pre-game performance for the kids of northeast Iowa. It was my MJ in Utah moment.)

Somewhere between my moderately successful high school career and my first college practice I began to confuse basketball for hockey.  Luckily for me, college basketball practices can sometimes blur the lines between physical play and an amateur MMA match. You may wonder how it’s possible to start fighting during practice without pissing off the big guy.  Picking and choosing the right moment to start a brawl is key:

Typical moments:

a. Rebounding drills: These were made for fighting. Especially during practices that followed us getting our asses kicked by some MVC opponent the night before. The big guy would institute the ‘no foul’ rule and all hell would break loose.  Secretly, I hoped for blow-out losses so I could not only receive my token one minute of playing time, but so practices like this would come around on a more regular basis.

One time during a rebounding drill I jumped the back on current Toronto Raptors center (and big-time fan of SOGJ) Patrick O’Bryant piggy-back style, wrestled him to the ground and proceeded to shout “YOU’RE TOO LITTLE!!!!” at him for 2 to 3 minutes. What this did for my career is minuscule, but look at the impact it made on his. You’re welcome POB.

(It’s not uncommon for either of us to now throw out a random “YOU’RE TOO LITTLE!” to one another during conversation.  Why that line even made sense in my head with POB being a legit 7’0″ and me at an agile and sexy 6’2″ is beyond me. The only reasoning I can think of is that I blacked out and flipped some type of switch to ‘super machismo.’ Very similarly to Sly Stallone in the Academy Award winning motion picture, Over the Top.)

(Editor’s Note: I got a message from POB this morning stating that the floor was wet during this struggle and that’s why he went to the deck. I on the other hand, would like to blame it on my Jared Allen rodeo style calf-roping skills…you make the call.)

b. At any point during the month of February:

When February approaches you’ll all be tired of looking at and practicing against each other for the past four months. This is when shit gets really chippy/freaking awesome.

For some odd reason, I was chosen to bring the ball up during full court drills against our starting five my sophomore year. As expected, I was stripped clean by Tony Bennett almost instantly when I crossed half-court. (No, not the old, gray haired crooner. Although I’m fairly certain even he would be able to sit on my syrupy slow cross-over and pick it clean.)  We were late in the second hour of practice and I was tired, so I did what any self-respecting walk-on would do…I wrap tackled his ass right at half-court.  I’ll be damned if this didn’t spark a battle royal between the practice squad and the starters.  I’m proud to say that I was a part of it, as the ‘red squad’ got a little piece of revenge that day…I won’t lie, it felt pretty damn good.

No worries though friends, Tony and I still remain friends and jokes about the incident are brought up every time we run into one another.

Which brings me to my overall point in this whole fighting thing, find something to be remembered for.

I spent three years at BU and I’m remembered for two things:

a. Fighting anyone and everyone. (It was then and has always been looking back on as something that’s extremely funny.  The big guy even told me that it had a way of breathing life into practice sometimes. You’re welcome Bradley. You really are. Another word of advice: your first day of practice, pick a fight with the senior leader of the team. Think of it as prison rules. This is the only way to gain his respect and become accepted as a member of the team. Taking on James Gillingham in practice both scared the living piss out of me, and made him hate me and like me all at the same time. It was weird.)

b. Hitting clutch shots in practice (No joke, my shooting percentage usually hovered around 9%. With the scrimmage or a drill on the line it rose to 98%. Why? I have no idea, but if I had to guess, I would say that it’s because ice water runs through my veins. I earned the nickname ‘Robert Horry’ from Marcellus Sommerville, and he was on the cover of SI once, so I’ll take his word for it.)

This way you have a better chance of being brought up in general conversation about the team, maybe even on the radio or in the rare occasion, even on TV.  Am I proud to be remembered as the crazy white boy who fought everybody? No, but people remember me don’t they? You’re Damn right they do.

8. Always own the latest video gaming system:

This rule may seem like it has nothing to do with being a walk-on, but that’s why you’re the rookie and I’m the experienced veteran. Having the latest and greatest in video gaming technology (and all of the newest games) will turn your apartment or dorm into the hang out for the entire team. (Reminder: This will once again help you possibly get a shout out in the media guide, bringing you more autographs, hunnies, pub, etc…you get it.)

This technique also helps in providing retaliating shots during practice or road trips to deflect from your lack of basketball skill.  If you are able to skip some individual workouts and shooting sessions that the real players are forced to attend, chances are that you’ll have some extra free time to practice your PS3 skills. Don’t waste this time on lifting weights or studying. This can help you build some sort of self confidence throughout the season. Let’s have an example, shall we:

Good Player (after dunking on me): “Hey KJ, how do my nuts taste?”

Me (after being dunked on): “Pretty salty. Just like your Halo skills.”

Rest of team (after watching me being dunked on): “Ohhhhhh! No he didddn’t!”

So just how good does it feel to turn the tables on premier athletes and make them look silly in the digital world? Pretty damn good.

Without any sort of exaggeration at all, I can tell you that the team of Jeremy Crouch and myself won exactly 256 consecutive matches of 2-on-2 Gears of War against all other challengers. (We know the exact number because we kept track on a dry-erase board in my apartment. It was also used to embarrass everyone that I’ve ever beat when they came into my casa.)

It was a streak the legends are made of. It lasted from January 2007-April 2007, and we played for hours a day on a daily basis. Had I stayed at BU the following year I’m fairly certain that I would have been given a special pre-game video or something for the accomplishment, but now we’ll never know.

9. Dominate pre-game and road trip meals:

This is a biggie, because other than two free pairs of Nike’s a month and a few t-shirts here and there, this is the closest you’ll get to a scholarship.  You will go to awesome restaurants all over the country and be given free meals consisting of awesome food. The everyday contributing player cannot indulge on these meals as much as you can. You’re job is to go nuts. You’re also helping the school get its moneys worth for the spread, so you’re actually contributing for once. Way to go, buddy.

Because you have no reason to be worried about what a big meal could do to offset your performance, just cram.  Most players are worried about eating too much before the game while I was busy hitting up the buffet line for thirds and asking the waiter for 8 to-go boxes. Picture Cousin Eddy in National Lampoon’s: Vegas Vacation at the casino buffet…just like that.

(CAUTION!: This habit will be incredibly hard to break once your playing days are over, so use with extreme caution. Three years and forty pounds after my retirement speech at Carver Arena I still fight this bad boy like the plague. Use at your own risk, but it’s totally worth it.)

10. Keep your swag:

The ultra-classy presentation makes it look like I was actually important.

Keeping your swag is the only way that you can intimidate other players in the church league that you’re bound to join once your playing days at the collegiate level are over. The year I spent away from the team as a college dropout may have been the single greatest church league season ever played in the state of Illinois, it was like playing with children.

People will part the lane for you like the Red Sea, not because you’re fast, but because you have your college practice jersey on. This gives the impression that you aren’t to be messed with in the paint. It’s totally a form of false advertisement, and some people may catch on to it sooner or later, but by that time you’ll already have the game in hand.  (Napoleon has nothing on me, I am the master of mental warfare.)

I’m almost more proud of the fact that I led my church league team to a perfect 16-0 record and a church league crown than anything I achieved in college.

(In the championship game my then 48 year old Dad did almost get into a brawl with an 18 year old kid and probably would have continued it outside afterwards had we not calmed him down, wonder where I get it from? Oh yeah, my brother-in-law also got thrown out of a different game for choke-slamming a guy. To cover his ass I went off for about 35 points, you’re welcome Adam. (PS: He’s a devoted SOGJ fan and a stand-up guy. We all get a little hyped on the hardwood sometimes.))

I didn’t have a team manager handy to record my stats for me, but if I had to guestimate I would say that I averaged about 28 pointsand 13 rebounds a game, which reminds me:

TIME TO GET REAL: I may poke fun at the expense of my walk-on brethren and I, but don’t kid yourself, we have some game, just not as much as the freak athletes that take our scholarships from us.  I would often overhear people saying that they were better than me or that they would be a better walk-on than I. These are the people who were also too damn lazy to do anything about it and would rather flap their gums and play beer pong at their frat house than get in the gym. The average walk-on would destroy any rec league player nine times out of ten. We’re smart, we practice on a daily basis and you’re fat. That’s just how it is.

Keeping all of your swag and even mounting your jersey on the wall is crucial.  This is one other place where you will beat the scholarship athlete every time.  Their jerseys are often beat to hell after a full season or two of use and they don’t look anywhere near as good as the walk-on’s jersey does on the wall. Mine is crisp, clean, and free of any DNA or blood from some random opponent who may be in a state penal system. Advantage: walk-on.

In closing, thanks for taking a ride with me down memory lane and listening to my rules for prospective walk-ons in the future. It would be highly recommended for you to follow them for face your own fate, I warned you.  Being a collegiate walk-on isn’t for the weak of heart and I would argue that it takes more of a man to get abused on a daily basis like a rodeo clown that it does to be a high-flying freak of nature.

It was one hell of a ride and I’ll certainly have these memories and many more than I can’t share on a public forum for the rest of my life. Long life the walk-ons and long live Club Trillion and the Trillionaires. GO BRAVES!!!

(SPECIAL THANKS: Mark Titus and his blog Club Trillion for the inspiration to write about my experiences at the end of the Bradley University bench. Visit his blog here.)

The Life, Times and Rules of the Walk-On (Part 1)

Where am I in this picture? No, not in the middle. I'm the one barely peeking out of the right side of the photo, still in warm-up attire, of course. I kid you not, this picture is hanging in my parents house even though only 1/6 of me is actually in it.

With March Madness rapidly approaching, there will be an amazing amount of attention on one particular group of players: the walk-ons.  Nobody is able to provide a better emotional piece of footage for CBS, and our boy Gussy Johnson, after a big shot than the group of three to four white kids at the end of the bench.  Our real moment in the spotlight typically comes during crucial late game free-throws during the ‘linking of the arms’ tactic.  Benches who don’t participate in the linking of the arms tactic, stand no shot at TV time though.  This move was created by walk-ons to look good and get on TV or in print, not to show team unity…

...and look at the effectiveness! BU's bench was able to make an appearance in Sports Illustrated because of this technique. Incredible work fellas.

(I’ve also been very inspired by the works of Mark Titus, walk-on bad ass at Ohio State.  Mark’s blog, Club Trillion, is about his experiences at the end of the bench and it is worth a daily read, trust me, go visit it.)

This will undoubtedly lead white kids across the country into the belief that they could be one of those guys, always in warm-up attire, at the end of the bench. Well boys, this rodeo isn’t for everybody, and with that in mind, I’m going to shed a little more light on this unheralded group of elite athletes and the special rules that apply to them if you want to be successful.

What are my qualifications for such a story, you ask? I spent 3,071 minutes (51 hours or 2.13 days for those keeping score at home) at the end of the Bradley University bench as a non-scholarship, walk-on athlete for 2.75 seasons. (I played my freshman and sophomore years, dropped out of school, missed BU’s Sweet 16 run, then came back for a majority of the following season.)

For those who aren’t quite certain of what a walk-on is, it means that the school didn’t enjoy my hustle and determination enough to give me a scholarship like all the talented and athletic kids. Now to the rules:

1. Practice = Game Time:

The most important thing for the walk-on to know is that you own the practice floor. You don’t get real playing time, so your time to shine is in the practice gym in front of zero fans, zero hot chicks, and zero NBA scouts.  This is also more enjoyable, and memorable, if you can have your favorite team manager (we’ll get to their importance later) keep stats for you.

It’s also a freaking blast if you’re on the scout team as the opposing team’s best shooter with the greenest light on the planet.  For some reason, I was selected as Creighton’s Nate Funk for an entire week of practice.  I’m pretty sure I went an impressive  7 for 59 from three-point land that week, it was awesome.

You must also get used to the fact that you will learn the offense of opposing teams in your conference better than your own.  I can run Wichita State’s or Creighton’s offense blindfolded, but I don’t think I remember one set from Bradley that didn’t involve me joking around with my other walk-on brethren while poking fun at Michael Rembert’s inability to remember said sets.  I’m pretty sure we ran some sort of dribble weave though.  I had that shit down to an art, because let’s face it, there’s nothing that a walk-on does better than dribbling away from the basket and getting rid of the ball.  It’s like the offense was created for us.

I still attempt to run it on NBA2K10, but everybody just stands around and watches LeBron dribble while Mike Brown nods in approval .  The realism of that game is frightening.

2. Never, ever, muck up a drill bad enough to grind it to a hault:

The walk-on is part of a tricky catch 22.  Let’s face it, you’re on the team only for team GPA raising purposes and because sometimes you can make the coach laugh. This means that your overall skill and talent isn’t equal to that of a scholarship athlete and the coaches know it.  You will get routinely embarrassed in 1-on-1 drills, and that’s okay.  This won’t bring practice to a stopping point and it actually makes the scholarship players look better, so it’s all good.

If you find yourself in a team drill in which you can easily visualize yourself booting the ball three rows into the bleachers because you aren’t good enough to handle a real double team, be prepared for the head coach to jump your shit faster than Chris Johnson ended my fantasy football season.

To offset this, you should use my highly effective and patent pending ‘Reverse Skipski.’

It’s as frighteningly simple as it sound . All you need to do is stand in line long enough to be in the on-deck position.  Then, simply float to the back of the line like Patrick Swayze in Ghost.  Another highly effective move is to act like you have to tie your shoe.  Your new lower, stealthier position will make this move a lot easier for the beginner.

If any real player attempted this move it would be sniffed out quicker than Lindsey Lohan’s purse by a police K9 unit at a nightclub, but since your development and preparation for the upcoming game is extremely unimportant, nobody will notice your lack of participation in the drill.  This saved my ass from several explosions and kept me off of the big man’s radar, this is key.

This move is not recommended, however, for drills that involve no real basketball skill. (ie: rebounding drills)  Drills like these are your time to shine, because you’re much more likely to show hustle and grit than those pampered scholarship boys. Once again, have your favorite, hand selected manager keep stats for those.

3. Always wear your team exclusive gear when going out in public.

This is the only way that anyone in the community will know who you are.  I also recommend hanging out with more recognizable members of the team to get some recognition.  You will then be awkwardly asked to sign some little kid’s basketball just because you hang out with Marcellus Sommerville, not because the kid actually knows who you are.  Some may call this cheap, but I just call it ‘doing your homework.’  This is also something that should be utilized at on-campus parties and other social gatherings.  You will then almost immediately be given a free Kool-Aid or two and introduced to co-eds.

This rule does wear off over time, however.  Now that I’ve been out of the game for 3 years I still run into people who see my Bradley attire and will strike up a conversation about the team. Eventually we’ll get to the point in the conversation where I mention that I was on the team.  This usually leads to the person(s) asking me my name, followed by, “Ohhhh yeah, I remember you.”  The look on their face gives the impression that they have no idea who the hell you are and that you may, in fact, be lying to them.

Piggybacking this point is also the fact that you should choose a school as close to your hometown as possible.  This will increase your chances of being recognized in public by a dramatic percentage, let’s go with 184%.  If you choose to walk-on at a school that is 2,000 miles away, be prepared to use the ‘team gear rule’ in extreme proportions.

4. Please, have a sense of humor about your position on the squad:

I’ll admit it, when I first joined the squad at BU I had the illusion that I would somehow work my way into the rotation with hard work and determination like that old guy from The Rookie.  This, however, proved to be difficult while being 6’2″, creamy white, non-athletic, and not in a Disney movie.  The walk-on moving into the contributor role stories are few and far between, so I’m just trying to keep your expectations in check.  Don’t believe me? Let’s have some story time, shall we?

My freshman year at BU was a particularly rough season.  We started out the season hot and then really started to blow once the conference season showed up.  We even lost 10 of 11 games at one point.  At some point during this stretch coach decided to open up the starting rotation to the five players who scored a certain amount of points based on hustle plays (aka: my wheel house, my bread and butter, walk-on friendly competition) during the two practices leading up to the game.

To make a long story short, after day one your boy KJ is sitting comfortably in second place. I’m fairly certain that I may have called my girlfriend, my parents, my hometown newspaper, the Wall Street Journal and ESPN to report that I was planning on making my starting debut in two days at Evansville.  This was all ended with one quick trip to the coaches office.  I was informed that the chances of me starting where similar to Lloyd Chistmas’s chances with Mary Swanson. (So you’re telling me there’s a chance!!! YES!!!)  I was also given the vibe that I should get very used to cuddling the water cooler at the end of the bench in 40-minute intervals, twice a week, for the rest of my career.

(Disclaimer: Looking back, I can’t say that I blame the big guy. Had he started a walk-on for a conference road game and got waxed, which we did anyways, he probably would have taken some serious heat for it.  College basketball is a business, never forget that kids.)

This leads me to the overall point of this rule, always make fun of yourself.  If you take yourself too seriously as a walk-on, you won’t make it past year one.  The average life expectancy of a walk-on at the division one level is 1.5 years.  There are rare exceptions that are able to bear the burden of being the most important member of the team for all four years. (Congrats to you Mr. Ryan Phillips, the newest member of the club…overachiever.)

To quote the famous artistic wrestler and now Disney movie puppet, Dwayne Johnson: “Know your role and shut your mouth.”

5. Befriend every manager and trainer:

This one should be relatively easy because you’ll be spending so much time in their general area at the end of the bench during games, and on the sidelines during practices.

I would argue that the walk-on/manager relationship is more closely related than the walk-on/scholarship player relationship. The walk-on and the manager are both in the program for the same reasons.  You both love the game of basketball and have an itch to be around it at all times, you both just aren’t good enough to actually play.  The only benefit of being the walk-on is the ability to claim membership to the team and being able to put on a show during pre-game warm-ups for the kids.  That and the lack of having to do any laundry.

Managers are probably the #1 friend of any walk-on.  Luckily for me, my go-to manager at BU was a very good friend of mine from Pekin, so I was immediately in. What can managers do for the walk-on the is so important? Let’s see:

a. Show you a practice plan before practice starts. This is key when planning which drills to turn into a phantom during, we’ve been over this before.

b. Provide non-standard food and drink during games: I won’t lie, I never had water in my H20 bottle during my first two-year run at the Hilltop. My boy always hooked me up with the usually half-time only Powerade, Gatorade or other juices. I was also able to score some energy bars and orange wedges at half-time. Not because I needed replentishment, but because I was hungry and most likely sleepy. We always talked about somehow getting me a pretzel or hot dog while I was actually on the bench during the game, but we never had the balls to pull off such a move. In retrospect, we should have gone for it.  Only legends take risks.

c. Provide extra swag: In rare occasions, the manager may have access to some extra shirts or something. Use this to your advantage.

d. Keep your stats during practice: Who are you kidding? Of course it’s important to know the numbers that you put up on the starting five during scrimmages.  Usually managers are running the clock at the scorer’s table anyways, so it’s really not out of their way to write down a stat or two.  You can also choose to keep these stats to show to your grand kids at some point to prove your dominance on the practice floor.

e. Provide friendship: Life at the end of the bench can be lonely if you haven’t struck up a friendship with a manager, trainer, or strength coach. My good friend at the end of the bench during my third year at BU was none other than long-time strength and conditioning coach Ronnie ‘Reginald’ Wright. See below:

Coach Reginald (in white) shoving me out of the view of the camera lens so he can get some more run for himself and his amazing Captain Morgan pose in the paper.

Ronnie was great to be around because he had some pretty awesome stories about his growing up in the world of football and bodybuilding, and his one-liners during games in reference to both our team and opponents were legendary. Ronnie was the kind of guy who usually hated freshmen, walk-ons, and had a particular distaste for freshmen walk-ons.  How I was able to get on his good side is something I still haven’t figured out.  It must have been my dedication to the weight room. (ie: 30 minutes of light lifting, mixed in with long periods of casual conversation.) Oh wait, I figured it out…let’s segway to my next rule!

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW……(UPDATE 3/1/10-PART TWO HAS NOW BEEN POSTED HERE.)

What we are working on!

As the NBA trade deadline approaches we have decided to do our very own NBA power rankings. These of course are not your usual power rankings we are calling them the Super Hero Index.

The Winter Olympics are in full swing and the most interesting sport to watch has got to be curling! Yep that’s right I said it curling! Is there any other Olympic sport that 99 % of Americans think they could win a gold medal in?

Is this the best coach in college sports today? How about the best coach in the history of basketball? Geno Auriemma is currently in the middle of one of the most amazing runs in all of sports history and there are no signs of slowing down.

Stay posted for these stories and more, thanks for all the support!