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Heisman Finalists

For the love of Tim Tebow! The Heisman finalists were announced tonight and it is a very deserving group.

First, is 3-time nominee, 2007 Heisman Trophy winner, all around nice guy, circumsizor of Filipino boys, and protector of Earth and all things sacred, Timothy Richard Tebow.  (Rumor is they will rename the mascot at UF the ‘Florida Tebows’ upon his graduation.)  Tebow will most likely not win the Heisman again, will fall to the 7th round of the NFL Draft and will end up as a missionary in the Philippines by the time he hits 26 years old. He will, however, receive precious clipboard holding and headset wearing opportunities in his short, upcoming stint in the NFL.

Next, you have some people’s favorite (Ahem…Mr. Erin Andrews) Texas QB Colt McCoy. A better performance in Saturday nights Big 12 championship game may have locked this up for Colt but sadly it may have him as a runner-up once more. (Is there a better name for a Texas quarterback then Colt McCoy? Maybe Cowboy Longhorn, or possibly Marshall Law but Colt McCoy is pretty tough to beat regardless. Honorable mention: Major Applewhite)

Third, is the man without a neck, Alabama running back Mark Ingram. He had a monster game against Florida in the SEC Championship on Saturday and is a slight favorite to take home the hardware. (Seriously, little to no neck on this guy. You can tell him that though, I enjoy my facial structure.)

Fourth, is man child, Ndamukong Suh (the name alone sounds scary). He plays, or is, Nebraska’s defensive line. He really must be seen to be appreciated…unreal.  Picture Ray Lewis. now cross him with LeBron James. Now add a pit bull, shake them all together, piss them off, and this is what you get! MONSTER!

Fifth my personal favorite and long shot is Stanford’s Toby Gerhart. He is a stud running back that would rather run over you than around you. This guy is such a stud he wears number 7 at Stanford (John Elway’s college number). That’s like walking into Chapel Hill and telling Roy Williams you want to rock MJ’s #23 or going to Solider field and saying “Hey Lovie, give me #34”, you just don’t do that and get good karma like Gerhart does.

My pick probably Mark Ingram. I think it will be to hard for voters to overlook what he did against Florida. I would not be surprised if they gave it to Tebow then renamed the award after him (God Bless) and I would love it if they gave it to Colt. Suh and Gerhart have no shot, but their highlights are fantastical.

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  1. December 7, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    Toby Gerhart is the resurrection of the white running back!

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