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Where Top 5 Lists Happen

Dear NBA: Please give Seattle its team back.

I love the NBA right now.  There are so many good players and a bunch of good teams to root for. I think that we can successfully say that for the first time since MJ graced the floor with his presence (In Chicago of course, we don’t count the Wizards publicity stunt here.) that we are truly in a golden era of the NBA. Instead of the typical ‘Who are the Top 5 Players in the NBA’ lists that are all over the web, I wanted to come up with some more innovative lists about today’s NBA. Here they are:

Top 5 Guys We Wish Were on Better Teams:

1. Kevin Durant: Averaging 28 ppg and 7 rpg. He is 6’10 and may be the best outside shooter in the league. Too bad he’s stuck on the Oklahoma City Thunder.

2. Dwayne Wade: Arguably the best all-around player in the league. Take him off of the Miami Heat and they win 15 games…maybe.

3.LeBron James: Sure, they are leading the Central Division right now, but imagine if Dwight Howard or Kevin Garnett was roaming the lane instead of Geriatric-Shaq.

4. Chris Paul: Just think of the possibilities if he had guys other than Peja Stojakavich and Okafor to pass the ball to. He still gets 14 assists a game, but put him with Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry in Dallas and you could see his true potential.

5. Derrick Rose: The Chicago Bulls try real hard, and that is admirable. Joakim Noah has funny hair, Brad Miller is white, wears a headband and has lots of tattoos. Man, the city of Chicago and I really hope they get Dwayne Wade next summer.

5 Guys That Are Really Good, You Just Don’t Know About Them Yet:

1. Tyreke Evans: The rookie point guard for the Sacramento Kings is killing. He is averaging 20 ppg and 5 apg.  Did I mention that he’s a 6’6 point guard.  Mismatch heaven.

2. Will Bynum: He does something amazing every game. He is 5’10 (Standing on a phone book, maybe.) but he is absolutely explosive.

3. Al Jefferson: He plays for Minnesota Timberwolves. That’s why you’ve never seen him. Nuff’ said. (Remember that really awesome white guy from UCLA, Kevin Love? He didn’t quit the game and join a cult. He just plays in Minnesota too.)

4. Aaron Brooks: Quickly taking over Shane Battier’s spot as Yao Ming’s best teammate for the Houston Rockets.

5. O.J. Mayo: (Mr. Erin Andrews’ sleeper pick from his fantasy draft.) Scores in bunches and is fun to watch.

5 Guys That Are Just Plain Boring to Watch (But They Are Quite Talented):

1. Dirk Nowitzki: I may love the standing 17 foot jump shot as much as the next guy but come on…change it up a bit sometimes.

2. Tim Duncan: The Big Fundamental is a coaches dream but it may be more entertaining to stare at a cardboard box than it is to watch Duncan operate in the post.

3. Shaquille O’Neal: The young, athletic, Blue Chips era Shaq was great (Or as we like to call him Shaq Version 1.0. He’s at least on version 9.3.o by now.). He used to dunk on fools, bring down the basket, dance down court, stop and do play- by-play with Marv Albert and then raid a cotton candy vendor all in one possession. Now he is just a big, fat, sloth like mammoth. He also doubles as King LeBron’s person hype man.

4. Paul Pierce: Possibly the slowest pure scorer in NBA history. How slow can you be and still score buckets by the bunches?  I believe Pierce sets the bar pretty low for this.

5. Chauncy Billups: His two main weapons are either a molasses slow set shot or a slow post up spin move. Effective? Yes. Looks like something from a junior varsity girls basketball game? Double yes.

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