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2009 Heisman Trophy Winner: Timmy Tebow

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Most people love Florida Gators quarterback, and all around super-duper human being, Tim Tebow. Whether they are Florida Gator fans, sportwriters, or opposing coaches. Let’s focus in on the perceived opinions of voting sports writers for Heisman Trophy purposes:

Regardless of what your opinion is on Tim Tebow, he does deserve to be in New York City as a finalist for the Heisman Trophy presentation tonight. (I like Tim Tebow and kind of hate him at the same. It’s a funny feeling, and a bit weird, I know.) He has solid numbers (2,413 passing yards, 18 TD’s, 859 rushing yards, and 13 rushing TD’s) and has led his team through an undefeated regular season, only to come up short in the SEC Championship game against Alabama.

Many ‘experts’ have said that Tebow will not win his second Heisman Trophy tonight in NYC. But, I think he is going to steal the award (Not literally, silly. Tim Tebow would never sin like that.) tonight, and here is why:

The candidates are so good and the voting will be very tight.  For the first year in recent memory there is no clear cut favorite heading into the presentation. Listening to analysts on the moving picture box and talk radio, the votes are all over the board.

Some pick Nebraska stud DT Ndamukong Suh because of his dominance in the Big XII Championship game against Colt McCoy’s Texas Longhorns. (Honestly, they are probably terrified that if they don’t vote for him…he will find them.)

There are those who think that either running backs nominee could take home the hardware.  Stanford RB, and resurrector of the white running back, Toby Gerhart or Alabama’s Mark Ingram, who is still looking for that connecting piece between his shoulders and his head, (See: Our Heisman Preview, you’ll laugh harder…and that’s all we’re really doing this for.)

Colt McCoy has been an afterthought after a sub-par outing against Suh in the Big XII Championship game.

What does this melting pot of votes and madness mean?

This means that Tim Tebow will arise from the ashes of the most odd vote in Heisman history and will be your 2009 Heisman Trophy winner.

The voters for the previously mentioned four players will all cancel each other out and enough writers will vote for Tebow because of his track record, his squeaky clean image and his overall ‘Tim Tebow-ness ‘ and he will run away from NYC  like a criminal on fire with the award. (Is that a word? Mr. Erin Andrews used ‘Favre-ness’ yesterday, so I’ll run with it.)

Don’t believe me? Look at this this year’s 2009 NL Cy Young voting. Either one of the St. Louis Cardinals pitching duo of Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter was a lock to with the award.  Experts spoke all fall about the Cy Young Award being awarded somewhere in St. Louis come November.

"Uhhh...like, you got any Doritos man?"

Winner: Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum…oops. (Who is starting to look more and more like a woman by the way. It’s getting scary Tim…and lose the beanie broski, you’re only adding on to your new stoner stereotype.)

The votes between the two St. Louis pitchers canceled each other out and Lincicum reaped the rewards. This is why Tebow will win the Heisman Trophy tonight.

TOTALLY UN-RELATED STONE COLD LOCK OF THE CENTURY: Ten years from now Tim Tebow will be arrested on drug trafficking and prostitution charges.  Tebow, who will be a color commentator on Monday Night Football by this point, has been using his PR firm, agent, and entourage to hide this type of behavior since his playing days at Florida.  Sources will have a list of over 30 women who claimed that they had ‘climbed to the top of Mt. Tebow’ while on campus.


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